Show your own mind, and don’t let others forget who you are
is it wrong that I feel a secret shame for my husband?
I can’t bear to watch him, a fish on the sand
his father’s men who use him for their own affairs
he inhales his rage with constant cigarettes
bends a hundred times a day
to the will of the one with whom he last spoke
twelve hours a day they bury him in paperwork
he diligently reads and signs every document
from banal approvals of Easter egg gifts for staff
to kill orders and death sentences
is it love or my own nature that spurs me on?
husband of capitulation, husband of avoidant ways
I apply myself to him as a poultice of pressure
describe a fist, a voice, push him out the door
inside and out I see all are displeased with him
he aligns his pencils
stubborn like an abandoned old rail car
he is pushed squealing or he is frozen in place
I tell God I fear I have married not an emperor
but a man in his ordinary cloak of skin
When dawn opens like a sash, a moment of blank
I recall all that has happened in painful cascade
long lists of unjust acts, and we
still imprisoned
tedious fabric of our humiliated lives
my blood runs cold as if Ive been sitting in dirt
entire days have gone abject, how much worse
our remaining riches smuggled this far
enough jewels left to buy a quite exile
our ten soft hands sewing for months
collateral stitched between the bones of our corsets
into belts and hat bands, seams and false buttons
ready to move, empty handed, at a moment’s notice
familiar handwork for confiscated days
bright bands of soreness to adorn our ribs