At rehearsal. Williams: You’ve got it all wrong, Fraser. I’m surprised after fourteen years in Quebec, your understanding of the power of language is so primitive. Fraser: Language is like a suit of clothes. If you put an idiot in a high priced coat, you get a well-dressed idiot. Williams: Language works from the inside. To speak French is to find a hidden side of oneself. Fraser: If you’ve got something to hide, in which case you’re a hypocrite. But don’t blame it on the limitations of your mother tongue. Williams: I’m not blaming my mother tongue. I’m simply suggesting that to learn a second language is to find a new and sometimes frightening door…to the soul. One can’t always know what one has to hide, Fraser Louis, what do you think? Grandpré: Pardon? Williams: The soul. Is language a means to uncovering the soul? Fraser: He wasn’t listening to a word we said. Enter Humphreys. Humphreys: Good afternoon, fellow thespians. Williams: Sir! Humphreys: Ah! Major? Fraser: Hello, Harry. Humphreys: Well, well. Malcolm Fraser. One of General Wolfe’s finest, in the old days. What a pity you left. Fraser: Well, I’m back. Humphreys: To do the play. Williams: Louis, je voudrais vous présenter mon oncle, le Colonel Humphreys. My mother’s sister’s husband. Nous ferons la pièce ensemble. Louis de Grandpré. Humphreys: Mr. de Grandpré, I’ve heard so much about you. Monsignor Montgolfier tells me you were his prize student. And you gave up a brilliant career in the priesthood. Awkward pause. Humphreys: Well, welcome aboard. I’m very happy to have your participation in our little cultural endeavours. Now, what role do I play? Pause. Williams: Uncle is quite an accomplished actor. Humphreys: Remember India? Williams: The Duchess of Salisbury. Humphreys: She Stoops to Conquer. Williams: And Shakespeare. Humphreys: You did say this one’s a comedy? Williams: We tried Hamlet. Humphreys: In Jamaica. Williams: Disaster. Humphreys: Too hot. Williams: Too slow. Humphreys: Too long. Grandpré: Yes! Tartuffe is a comedy. Humphreys: What part do I play? Grandpré: Orgon. He owns the house in which the intrigue takes place. Humphreys: Good. Grandpré: Lieutenant MacKinnon plays your wife. Humphreys: Oh. Grandpré: And I play Tartuffe, an imposter who steals your wife, your daughter, and your house, under the pretext of saving your soul. Fraser: Assuming he has one. Humphreys: May I see the play? Humphreys flips through the play. Louis and Williams wait. It seems to take forever. Finally: Humphreys: Très bien. Captain Williams, General Gage is coming up from New York next week to inspect the regiments. I’ll be quite busy for at least a month. In which case I shan’t be able to join in the fun before at least, say, Act III. Which seems to coincide with the first appearance of this monsieur Tartuffe. Williams: You’d like to play Tartuffe, Sir? Humphreys: General Gage. Commander-in-chief of the British forces in North America, Captain. Let us not lose sight of why we are here. Williams: But Sir, the play was Louis’ idea. The role of Tartuffe is— Grandpré: Please!… Le colonel Humphreys en Tartuffe. Et pourquoi pas? Humphreys: …If you insist. Grandpré: Je vous en prie.