Inspired by their own experiences with loss, and seeing how so many suffer alone with their grief, Remember, It’s OK (Blue Moon Publishers/Next Chapter Press), is a new series of books that open the doors of grief. The co-creators (author Marina L. Reed and psychotherapist Marian Grace Boyd) help you navigate the waters of grief bravely, with no secrets. They have developed an emotional colour map, because grief moves around, it isn’t linear. Each “Moment” in the books is a raw, first person experience of someone in grief, followed by healing words of a support person…and that can be anyone.
Remember, It’s OK guides those seeking to help, and validates the one grieving. Remember, It’s OK gives strategies, and hope. In the second book of the series, Remember, It’s OK: Loss of a Parent, the cocreators comment on this quote:
This is a quote from a Red Moment in our book, Remember It’s OK: Loss of a Parent. We have used colours to show movement in the journey of grief and loss. The book starts with Red Moments (survival, urgency), and moves to Orange (beginning to find self, immediacy), to Yellow (coming back to self, growing awareness), to Green ( learning to balance self, learning), to Turquoise (what path am I on now, increased awareness and curiosity), and finally Pale Blue (clarity of new path, beginning to move forward, increased openness). Using colour gives a visual component to the movement of grief, not always forward. More like a spiral. Colour allows for flow rather than rigid stages that move in one direction only. We have shifted the visual, the paradigm and the conversation. Choosing one quote from this book is extremely difficult. Every Moment is precious and valuable. We were told so many Moments that were beautiful, painful, uplifting, heart wrenching, tender, but all of them allowed for movement and self realization. This quote was a heart wrenching one. Such pain and darkness. A person in this state is very afraid, very nervous to reveal these kinds of feelings to others when someone they love dies. They are afraid because someone could misinterpret their words, think they are in danger, and they don’t want to deal with that scenario, so they stay quiet. They stay alone in their grief. And that is not a good thing. That is the real danger. In our pages, we say the things that need to be said. Because once it is said, we can begin to move, take another step, slowly come out of that blackout. And we help you do just that. We also help a support person know how to help someone in that place of grief. Grief is a struggle in the Red and Orange Moments, and we help you cope with that. We don’t want you to become numb, forget to feel, be afraid to feel. Grief has many faces, many sides. And we want you to move into the more gentle Moments of grief in Turquoise and Pale Blue. We give you permission to grieve. We provide a new paradigm where grief is ok. We give you permission to be in the dark, in a blackout, and know that it is ok. That blackout is for now, not forever. We remind you to Remember, It’s OK. We want you to find comfort and hope in these pages.
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Marina L. Reed (honB.A., M.A., B.Ed.) grew up in rural Ontario. She has since lived and worked in countries around the world as an author, educator, journalist and artist. Her experiences are brought to life through her fiction and non-fiction writing. Primrose Street is her first novel. She is a great lover of nature, of animals, and the empowerment of individuals. Follow her at Marinalreed.com.Marian Grace Boyd (B.R.E., B.A.Psych, M.A. Counselling Psych.), founder of Griefwalk, has worked as a psychotherapist, adoption program director and adoption practitioner.
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A special thank you to Blue Moon Publishers/Next Chapter Press and to Marina L. Reed and Marian Grace Boyd for joining us on the blog and sharing more from Remember, It’s OK: Loss of a Parent.