Butt out, Dante. Move over, Milton. Piss off, Pound. Outta the way, Olson. Here comes Cosmographia—a post-Lucretian faux micro-epic, the latest ground breaking incursion into the ever popular spectacle of the Epic Poem. Tracking the classic epic journey through the unfolding cosmos toward home, though occasionally disoriented by milling cows with similar intent, Cosmographia teems with nasty political invective, scurrilous spiritual slander, and endless exploitive sexual innuendo. Taking as its muses Cab Calloway and Charles Mingus, by the time it gets home, Cosmographia has subjected the epic to unspeakable acts in the name of linguistic rectumtude, dada terrorism, and sporadic ejaculations of self-expression. Oh yeah!—poetry will never be the same.