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Excerpted: ICEMEN
Read a tense, two-hander scene from celebrated playwright Vern Thiessen’s latest play ICEMEN (Playwrights Canada Press).
An excerpt from ICEMEN
by Vern Thiessen (Playwrights Canada Press)
ONE
Darkness.
A match.
A cigarette is lit.
In the gloom:
Joe: (sings casually) “Two, two cigarettes in the dark
He strikes a match till the
Spark clearly traces
One face is my sweetheart.”
The glow of the cigarette
Reveals:
JOE
In dirty overalls and farm boots
Smoking.
He stokes a small stove . . .
Its embers casting shadows
On someone nearby.
“Two, two silhouettes in a room
Almost obscured by the gloom
We were so close yet so far apart . . . ”
JOE lights a lamp.
And now we see:
F.F.
In a three-piece suit
Tied to a wooden chair
Gagged
And blindfolded.
Do you like Bing Crosby, F.F.?
Who doesn’t? the question may be asked.
The grandmothers love his smooth voice
Coming in on their radios.
The ladies love his sweeping hair they see in the magazines.
The poor folk think he’s a man of the people and the rich
Well
They think he’s sophisticated.
Course he’s no Wilf Carter.
Now there’s a man who knows how the people
The real people
Live.
I’m telling you
Cowboy music is the future.
But who’s to say what a person is or can be.
Am I right, F.F.?
Who knows what a person is . . .
In their heart.
JOE takes out a flask.
All I know is:
(takes a swig) Bing Crosby must be a rich son of a bitch.
JOE takes the blindfold off F.F.
He is coming to.
Looking about
Bewildered.
Sure, you inhaled some chloroform, but that’s temporary.
Unless you mix it with the booze.
Then it can last a long time
And have effects on the brain, they say.
God knows you were piss drunk when we picked you up.
But I’m sure you’ve got more of a hangover than anything else.
Now F.F. is clear-headed.
He tries to wriggle out of his situation.
JOE looks about, worried.
Hey.
Calm down there.
F.F. violently tries to get out from the ropes.
Stop that now!
F.F. starts to scream through his gag.
I said HEY!
F.F. keeps screaming.
I SAID HEY!
JOE cuffs him across the face.
F.F. breathes hard.
(contrite) I warned you, didn’t I?
JOE shakes out his hand.
No one wants to hurt you.
No one wants violence.
Understand?
* * *
Vern Thiessen is one of Canada’s most produced playwrights. His plays have been seen across Canada, the UK, the United States, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and Asia, and has been translated into five languages. His works include Of Human Bondage, Vimy, Einstein’s Gift (GG winner), Lenin’s Embalmers (GG finalist), Apple, and Shakespeare’s Will. He has been produced off-Broadway five times. Vern is the recipient of numerous awards, including the Dora Mavor Moore and Elizabeth Sterling Haynes Awards for Outstanding New Play, the Carol Bolt Award, the Gwen Pharis Ringwood Award, the City of Edmonton Arts Achievement Award, the University of Alberta Alumni Award of Excellence, the Canadian Jewish Playwriting Competition, and the Governor General’s Literary Award for Drama, Canada’s highest honour for a playwright. He was also a finalist for the Siminovitch Prize in Playwriting. Vern received his BA from the University of Winnipeg and an M.F.A. from the University of Alberta. He has served as president of both the Playwrights Guild of Canada and the Writers Guild of Alberta. For six years he served as Artistic Director of Workshop West Playwrights Theatre, one of Canada’s leading new-play companies.
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