“I’m interested in stories about resilience” – An interview with Scarlet Wings Kaili

All Lit Up: Halfsoul started as a webcomic. What was the process like of turning it into a series of books?

Scarlet Wings Kaili: To be honest, I had always envisioned printing the books, as I am a physical book gremlin. I definitely did my comic layouts with that as the priority.

However, I wanted it to be a webcomic as well because I wanted it to be accessible for readers. That, and posting the comic weekly would also help motivate me to finish the comic (nothing like a little indirect peer pressure!). 

All Lit Up: Tell us about your unique take on “the bargain” and how it factors into the Halfsoul series.

Scarlet Wings Kaili: As much as I love fantasy series, I think powers without limitations are overrated. 

As revengeful embodiments of ungranted wishes, I didn’t want the demons to just grant people’s wishes. 

The demons take advantage of desperation, not because they are “evil” but because they themselves are desperate. Knowing that they are unable to escape their fate the demons (for the most part) want you to fail instead.

Power gives people a sense of agency and control over their own lives. So by giving people the power to grant their own wishes while taking away their ability to remember and understand what mattered the most to them allows the demons to set Halfsouls up for failure. 

Combined with the demonization of Halfsouls by the rest of society, the odds were always stacked against Halfsouls. People fear what they don’t understand, and perhaps that is a reflection of how our own world stigmatizes those living with mental illness.

Becoming a Halfsoul isn’t about fighting evil or becoming a hero. It’s about fighting against societal judgement, and it means fighting for your wellbeing first. 

All Lit Up: What does the poor treatment of the halfsouls in the book have to say about our own time and place? Did real-world events influence the Halfsoul Extermination Association (HSEA)?

Scarlet Wings Kaili: My own life events definitely influenced the story in Halfsoul. Tale, Nalia, Zach and Scarlet are all reflections on different time periods and struggles. 

Tale was based on my experiences with PTSD from childhood trauma. If I had let my anger consume me, what kind of person might I have become? 

Nalia was based on my experiences before I learned how to talk, when speech impediment was more obvious, knowing I was different, but not knowing why and trying to navigate a world not designed for me. At the time of writing Nalia’s story, I was an undiagnosed autistic, and looking back, the signs were all there.

Zach‘s story began as a cautionary tale about the pitfalls of black and white thinking and a high sense of justice. Over time, his story morphed into a tale about breaking the cycle of how one was taught to be while also understanding how intergenerational trauma affected the people who were supposed to protect him.

The last book, Scarlet (which I’m working on now) will be about dissociation and the importance of self compassion.

All Lit Up: The world of Halfsoul is both futuristic (the characters consult electronic tablets) and almost biblical – there are outdoor marketplace sellers, packs of children roaming the streets, the characters wear robes and tunics. How did you arrive at a sense of place for this world? What inspired you?

Scarlet Wings Kaili: At its core, I wanted to create an inequitable world where demons like to roam and slurp up all those desperate people. Yum.

By creating such a difference between who has access to what, it shows the disparity of the world. It shows how “the have” and “the have nots” influence who decides to become a Halfsoul, and who can afford to lose. It shows how easily the world becomes divided, and how easily the world decides on a scapegoat.

As far as inspirations, Tsubasa, Madoka Magica, and Noragami were all manga that greatly inspired me. 

However, for some of the other stylistic choices, it had more to do with my own personal preferences. While there is a vague and not very well defined clothing style for each region, if I’m going to draw characters thousands of times, I’m going to dress them in what I want to draw. 

Which mostly means: an ambiguous blob.

All Lit Up: There is magic in these books: Tale’s lightning, Nalia’s psychic intuition, among others. Did you approach the narrative with a magic “system” in mind?

Scarlet Wings Kaili: The “system” is more metaphorical than not. 

The powers were based on each character’s wishes and what the demons took was often what each person valued/or needed the most (ex. Tale’s love for his brother, Moc’k’s guilt, Hael’s compassion, Scarlet’s ability to grieve)

When writing, I keep in the back of my mind the origins of their powers, and how that influences each character’s behaviour.

For example, Tale’s lightning reflects how he’s quick to lash out. Moc’k can make anyone believe his lies, including the ones he tells himself. Scarlet’s control over water is a reflection of her ability to adapt but also the ambiguity of her own self.

For Nalia, her powers are more complex as she isn’t a Halfsoul.

Her powers aren’t meant to “make sense” in the same way the neurodivergent doesn’t always make sense to the rest of society. It’s a reflection of how perceiving the world differently leads to misunderstandings and isolation, yet remaining as something that should be celebrated and embraced. Nalia’s “powers” aren’t a superpower or a liability, it just is.

In a world where differences are feared, magic is the outward expression of the struggles within.

All Lit Up: The narrative can be quite psychological at times. The characters confront demons, but also “demons” – their own pain, anger, frustration, grief. Tell us about speaking – or drawing – to mental illness in Halfsoul.

Scarlet Wings Kaili: In 2015, I was hospitalized. It was a deeply traumatizing experience, but it was also where I drew the first pages of Halfsoul (which I later redrew to the Halfsoul today).

The psychiatrist at that time demanded “where” my trauma was, and used those original pages as “proof”. I had not yet learned to effectively communicate what had happened to me, nor did I feel safe to do so. 

At its core, Halfsoul became my way of expressing my frustration of the rocky relationship between both the healthcare system, society and ourselves in mental illness and health, the endless fight to get to a better place, and an outlet for my own trauma. 

The characters in Halfsoul work through their own struggles, but not before I do. Ultimately, I wrote these stories for myself first. 

[The current theory of] trauma in PTSD is the result of indirectly stored memories, which is why narrative is such a powerful tool in rewriting and processing difficult memories and emotions (Note: Revisiting trauma at the wrong place or time can be retraumatizing). 

Engaging in these topics in fantasy also provides a layer of safety, of distance between understanding one’s own emotions and real, terrible lived experiences.

The media has a tendency to portray mental illness as either an unrelenting tragedy or as a get better fast scheme. In real life, it doesn’t work like that. Living with mental illness is more akin to a game of snakes and ladders with no end in sight. You slip, you fall, you stop, you breathe, you heal. You slip, you fall, you stop, you breathe, you heal. You slip, you fall- People are stronger than they think, not because they want to be, but because they have to be.

At the end of the day, I’m interested in stories about resilience.