Beautiful Books: 我的名是张欣恩 (Gimme chance leh)

Below is a reproduced conversation between playwright Kris Vanessa Teo Xin-En (张欣恩) and cover artist Yelly

Kris: Helloooooo

Yelly: Hiiiii

Kris: Sorry I was late hahahah

Yelly: No worries hahaa

Kris: What time is it for you over in Melbourne!!

Yelly: It’s 2.30pm now! Is it 9.30pm for you in Calgary?

Kris: It sure issss. OK. LET’S CHAT I GUESS!! We’re here to talk about the cover of GCL!!

Yelly: YES LET’S DO IT WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW

Kris: What do THE PEOPLE want to know!!!! Maybe we can show the cover of the play first before we chat about it. I’m so excited for people to see it!!!

Kris: I LOVE THE COVER SO MUCH!!!!! I love the colours!! And the fact that my name is on a chili ahahah and how it features all the food in the play!! Do you want to share about how we started the process? Like the first conversation we had? Or maybe even some initial thoughts you had when I softly reached out to ask if you were even interested in designing the cover of GCL?

Yelly: Aw I’m so glad you love it!! I LOVED WORKING ON IT, it is my fav project of the year!! 😀 Ok so we finally managed to catch up in Singapore earlier this year after too many years apart, and it felt like no time had passed!! So anyway when I returned to Melbourne and you reached out, I WAS OVERJOYED AND SO EXCITED!! I always feel a bit homesick after a trip to Singapore so this project was so perfect, an excuse for me to reminisce about younger days in Singapore and the food etc!! Also I LOVE your work and it was so flattering to be asked to do your cover!!

Kris: I forgot how long it had been since we last saw each other…like before we saw each other this year. How many years had it been?? Do you remember?

Yelly: Hmm maybe like 5??

Kris: Ya i think so too! For me, it felt really special to ask you to design the cover, specifically because we have this friendship that I really cherish, and we have this shared experience of moving away from Singapore, you to Melbourne, me to Calgary, all around the same time. I’ve always felt that the food I wrote about in GCL would feature heavily on the cover and it was really important to me that it be illustrated by someone who KNOWS KNOWS the food you know?!?!?

Yelly: Yeah totally! It’s fascinating to think that we knew each other so long ago and have gone separate but similar paths, it’s hard to find someone who shares this experience. And yeah we KNOW the food so well cause that’s a big part of our culture and it’s not just a novelty, it’s EVERYDAY LIFE! I loved that you described the food as like a light show when we were chatting about the cover at first – that definitely drove the direction of the cover design!!

Kris: Omg hahahah describing the vibe of the cover I had in mind as a food laser lightshow is a CORE MEMORY of that first conversation we had! It makes me giggle that the laser lightshow stood out to you too and informed your design process!! I think I had also see your work on instagram! Specifically your tofu puff illustrations!! I love them so much!! It’s like food, but also for me as the viewer and your friend, I felt like it really captured YOU. And I really enjoyed that about the drawings and other art you were sharing. LET’S SHOW THE PEOPLE UR TOFU PUFFS!!!!

Kris: Ok this is from so long ago but I always remember it. Like I just UNDERSTAND THIS TOFU IDK and maybe this tofu understands me??????

Yelly: OH WOW that is like from very long ago, I’m so surprised you remember this!!!! Also it’s making me HUNGRY and yes this tofu understands you – it LOOKS INTO YOUR SOUL. It’s the details i think that trigger food memories for us growing up – I always wanted those salty bits with the spring onions to go with a big spoonful of rice yummmm. Oh speaking of food memories I remember you LOVE the grey parts of fish. I’m surprised that didn’t make it into your play!! HAHA I joke. I’m curious how you came about the idea of centering your play around the conversation with the chicken rice hawker? Is chicken rice your fav Singaporean food?

Kris: oooooooh good question! Ok I have so many favourites when I go back to visit!! I don’t think chicken rice is my all time favourite but it’s a comforting staple that is hard to find in Calgary. It’s so simple but so flavourful and fills you up in a cozy and homey way. When I wrote the chicken rice uncle character, I was thinking about how I used to always get into these language barrier situations as a kid when I would try to order my food in my limited mandarin. And the hawker uncles and aunties would ask me questions that I just didn’t understand! And they would respond to my confusion by asking me the question even louder which always made me feel like they were yelling at me and obvi didn’t help me answer them lol.  But watching my mom order chicken rice, she would always have these VERY SPECIFIC chicken rice orders. Like her own special requests like…which part of the chicken she wants, thigh meat not breast meat!! And she would ask for things like gizzard, or liver on the side. My language capabilities would allow me to point at the menu and say UNCLE NUMBER 1 PLZ. But my mom’s order was so complicated??? And the uncle and my mom would go back and forth negotiating the order?? I would watch this and feel like I would never be able to order food with that level of specificity. I really wanted to capture that feeling in the play.

Yelly: HAHA I LOVE HOW YOU GO INTO DETAIL!! Thinking back, I don’t think I had to order chicken rice much in my life hahaa – my mum was always the one ordering too! What’s harder or just seems more intimidating to me is ordering beverages in Singapore!! Like I can speak Mandarin well and all but beverage orders are a whole different challenge with all the hot/cold, less sugar, no milk etc in dialect!! But I think it’s also a cool aspect of our culture – it’s just so diverse?

Kris: KOPI PENG SIEW DAI (iced coffee with less sugar)

Yelly: TEH O KOSONG PLEASE (black tea with no sugar or milk)

Kris: Aww I became friends with the drink uncle at the food court next to where my parents live during my last trip back home. It was very sweet. And the roti prata uncle too. Speaking of roti prata, ONE OF MY FAV ELEMENTS IN THE COVER IS THE GIRL STANDING ON THE ROTI PRATA FLYING SAUCER ON THE TOP LEFT CORNER WITH THE FORK AND SPOON!!!! Do you remember how she ended up there hahaha

Yelly: That’s YOU!! I imagine you as the little girl going on a food adventure in the carnival-like food paradise!! On a different note, when you first moved to Calgary, did you use food to combat homesickness? Like make/find familiar food you grew up with? I definitely made chicken rice from scratch hahaa.

Kris: This might be surprising to you, but…NO I didn’t. AND LEMME EXPLAIN. This was around 12 years ago, so the food landscape here was very different back then. I think now I could find familiar food to help combat homesickness, but back then, there wasn’t really very much going on food wise. Or back then I hadn’t found my favorites in the food landscape here. And it was hard to even find the ingredients needed to make the food I love. Cooking wasn’t something I loved doing back then too. So I remember just deciding that I was just going to eat white people food and be content with that. I was just tricking myself of course, and now, obviously things are way different. I cook more, and there are more food places that have opened up over the years! Ok I ALSO WANNA GO BACK TO THE GIRL (ME HEHE) ON THE ROTI PRATA FLYING SAUCER. I remember that it wasn’t actually part of the initial sketch you did of this cover!! You had drawn up like 3 different options. And I IMMEDIATELY KNEW WHICH OPTION I LOVED. But then my friend pointed out how cute the little girl in the second option was, and I loved her too!!! And I remember asking if you could somehow include her in the cover that I loved! Was it a surprising ask for you? How did you feel when I made that request?

Yelly: OH yes I remember it now – we should show the 3 sketches! I was really glad you asked for the little girl actually – it definitely made the cover whole and portrayed the whole story clearer – and it felt much more collaborative with your specific input!!

So yes I love that you asked for the little Kris to be on the cover!

Kris: Honestly, I also remember from our chats that I described the food laser light show vibe to you, but also said to just go with your own instincts. I felt like I had already seen and loved so much of your other work that I was quite comfortable with letting you feel out what the cover could look like!! Was that helpful that I wasn’t giving many directives around what would be on the cover? Or did i make your job harder!!

Yelly: (eating a mouthful of tofu and rice) Oh I really value trust in a client relationship – to put it formally. So it was awesome that you had so much trust in me, and you gave me the direction I really needed cause I think I really get your play and where you’re coming from! The magic words you gave me were ‘food’ and ‘laser lightshow’ – everything else flowed easily!! I did give a safer option (3) just in case but I knew that wasn’t you at all haha.

Kris: Wait did you already know which option I would go for???

Yelly: Well I was hoping option 1, and I knew it was between 1 and 2, so yeahh…sort of?

Kris: I love that you were hoping for option 1 too!! I think Blake (managing editor @ playwrights canada press) also loved 1, but told me it was ok if I liked the other options. Actually, don’t you think we had very few conversations about this design process?? The whole email thread between you, me and Blake, was: I LOVE IT!!! ME TOO!! YAY GREAT GLAD U LOVE IT I DO TOO!

Yelly: YEAH IT WAS SO EASY like we were all on the same page, which is MAGICAL cause I’ve never had such a smooth going project!! The trust and the fact that we were after the same vibes was just incredible.

Kris: Ya!!! I wasn’t expecting the design process to be a rocky one but I also didn’t expect it to be…SO EASY???

Yelly: Yes, and tbh I was slightly worried cause I really wanted to do your play justice, I wanted to be sure I created something that highlights your work accurately!

Kris: Omg YA U DID!!! I felt so much ease about it. It’s not lost on me that a big part of that is the relationship we have with each other. We already have the foundation of knowing each other for so long, understanding each other’s aesthetic, and already having the experience of communicating as friends and colleagues. And in many ways, we were able to just skip the usual time and energy needed to cultivate a working relationship and get to the heart of the work we were about to embark on together. LIKE think about the cover of GCL and think about… omg maybe you’ll hate that I am mentioning this…but UR HELLO KITTY DESK WITH ALL PINK EVERYTHING HAHAHAHA

An old photograph of Yelly

Yelly: HAHA we used to work together! And hang out after work, sitting at the train station eating taiwan sausages and curry fishballs!!!! So yes I’ll say we definitely have a solid friendship and trust to back this project up haha. Wait i found some pics!!

Kris: YELLY WE DIDNT JUST WORK TOGETHER LMAO. U LITERALLY INTERVIEWED ME AND HIRED ME HAHAHAHHAHA

Yelly: OMG THOSE PICS!!!! I actually did forget how pink my desk was. It was more than 15 years ago?? I think? LOLS I’M SO GLAD I HIRED YOU DESPITE THINKING YOUR FLOWY FLORAL DRESS WASN’T APPROPRIATE FOR THE INTERVIEW. Look how far we’ve come!! Thanks floral dress!!

Kris: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH I’ve always struggled with dress codes thank u for looking past whatever the fuck professionalism means hahahahahha remember that we used to cover for each other when we were late for work ahhaahaha

Yelly: IDK what you mean. I was never late.

HAHHAHAHA OF COURSE I REMEMBER!!

Oh gosh I was sooo professional at that time too huh. Looking back maybe that was a big sign that you and I were not meant for the normal 9-5 full time govt job! I mean it was a fun time and we got to see a lot of art and most importantly we met each other!!

Kris: And it’s so bonkers that we had this opportunity to collaborate with each other in this wildly different context?? Like me??? Writing a play??? You??? Designing this GORGEOUS FUN COOL cover for the play I wrote??? I LOVE ALL OF THIS SO MUCH

Yelly: It is WILD. I don’t think we could even have imagined that 15 years ago. And to leave Singapore and live a completely different life. It does make our friendship way more precious for sure – I appreciate you very much and THANK YOU AGAIN for asking me to collaborate with you on your amazing work!!! I’ve always felt like your big sister and am very proud of you!!!

Kris: STOP UR GONNA MAKE ME CRY. I think a big part of us being such good friends was really understanding each other’s experience of being raised in Singapore and all the sTuFf that brings up, and the experience of going away, and somehow still missing Singapore? And just the in between existence?? Do you feel that informs your art making?

Yelly: Yes!! I think that’s also why I’m so impressed by your ability to express all this eloquently – I guess I can only express it through artwork! You use words, I use illustrations hahaa.

Kris: Is food your fav thing to illustrate? Does drawing food help you feel connected to Singapore?

Yelly: I think I first started illustrating food during lockdown as I (like everyone else) couldn’t fly back to see my family. And I was going through big changes in my life here in Melbourne as well, so illustrating food was a way to help me cope I guess? Also when I did the butter cookie tin illustration, I got comments from friends who said they used to eat those too and their mothers use the tin as a sewing box etc, which made me feel closer to people who are from different cultures. Like food is such a powerful glue for society. So I think, sharing food illustrations and memories help to bridge that gap of in-betweeness.

Kris: That’s so true!! Some of my deepest friendships here are with people from various other cultures, who also value food in the same big way that Singaporeans do. And lots of my friendships have been formed over having meals together. Our friendship formed over food too! Thank you so much for infusing all of your wonderful, colourful, creative energy into this cover. I honestly feel so proud of us for following our creative dreams that we used to talk about all those years ago, and for our practices to cross paths in this lovely way <3

Yelly: Nawww. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend despite us being far apart! I am so proud of us too, and you need to know that you inspire me! Keep being you and expressing yourself in all the different creative ways, I’ll be on the journey with you and really I hope to work together again!! <3

Kris: YOU INSPIRE ME TOOOOOOOO. And for everyone who is reading, YELLY ALSO MAKES JEWELRY?!?!?! And you have so many other creative pursuits that everyone should know about!! Plug urself now!! WHAT ELSE DO U DO!!

Yelly: Oh you flatter me! HAHAAA erm yeah I make stuff. Paint things. Yep.

Kris: And write HAIKUS. Two Girls Doing Nothing hehehehehehe (our…was it a haiku writing collective or?)

Yelly: OH GOSH HAIKUS. I totally forgot about those! I think I only ever shared them with you!!!!! And Two Girls Doing Nothing – think we were gonna do performance art????

Kris: OMG SHOUT OUT TO LEE WEN WHOSE WORK WE LOVED AND BONDED OVER. OK. I feel like this could go on forever. We obviously don’t know how to end this conversation. So let’s just take this offline? HAHAH

Yelly: SHOUT OUT TO THE YELLOW MAN!

Yes let’s take this offline, thanks for reading till the end if you did!

Kris: Ya what a wild ride to read through all of this lol. If u did thank u sm. Ok bye!!!!

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Yelly/Yeli (she/her) is an illustrator, artist, and maker of handmade goods, specialising in sterling silver jewellery. She is Singapore-born and bred, but has made Naarm (Melbourne) her second home since moving there 11 years ago. In her art, Yelly enjoys working with both traditional and digital mediums, allowing her to explore a wide range of styles and forms. Being both queer and Southeast Asian, her background and cultural experiences deeply influence her work, adding layers of identity and personal storytelling to her creations. Yelly is passionate about expressing a blend of tradition and modernity, celebrating diversity through colour, form, and technique. She draws inspiration from culture, memories, food and nature, with hopes that her creations evoke joy and nostalgia, in turn bringing people and communities together despite their differences.

Kris Vanessa Teo Xin-En (张欣恩) is a Singaporean-Chinese settler basedin Moh’kins’tsis, Treaty 7 territory // Calgary, AB. She moves betweenmany roles such as playwright, performer, director, producer, andCo-Artistic Director at Swallow-a-Bicycle Theatre. Kris’ artisticcuriosities come alive at the intersections of food, self-inquiry, andin-betweenness while working with a slow-cooked blend of care,anti-racist, and anti-oppressive values, inviting mutual presence andexploration. She moves, thinks, and writes slowly.

Photo of Kris by Mike Tan.