Writer’s Block: Ho Ka Kei (Jeff Ho)

All Lit Up: Is there one stand-out moment or experience you had that helped you realize you wanted to
become a writer?

Ho Ka Kei: There wasn’t one particular eureka moment, but a smattering of breadcrumbs that made me realize how writing was an inevitable and joyous need. I grew up in Hong Kong as a child, and even then, though I wasn’t privy to the parent teacher interviews (which in Hong Kong were more like Parent Teacher INTERROGATIONS), apparently I had a natural joy and curiosity with languages. My spelling was often correct (like getting two ps in apple), and I was unceasing in asking why anything meant the thing they meant. Even as I immigrated to Canada, I absorbed the suburban accent quickly, and ESL classes weren’t too painful. I enjoyed wrestling my Cantonese thoughts into a different tongue (though, I still count in Canto). And then, especially in my desire to become an actor—whisking off to Montreal to theatre school—the thing I loved most about acting training was the proximity to words. In school, the classes I most gravitated towards were the creation, or playwriting sessions. I loved them so much. There was one particular moment in theatre school where wonderful arts leader, director, and mentor, Nina Lee Aquino told me that I was a writer. It took a while to believe that and live that. It’s only in hindsight, now, in my 30s, that I’m like—ah, playwriting was always there, wasn’t it? I feel very lucky that there were many who nudged me towards this calling.

All Lit Up: Which writers have influenced you or had the most impact on your own writing?

HKK: So, so many. So many wonderful writers, playwrights, creators, and other artists out there that have
been active influences. From fiction, writers like Han Kang (The Vegetarian) or Ocean Vuong. Playwrights, both classical and contemporary, who inspire what is possible to translate from page to stage…David Yee, Sarah Kane, Marjorie Chan, debbie tucker green, Yvette Nolan, Wajdi Mouawad, John Mighton, Yael Farber…and yea, Mr. William Shakespeare, and the Greeks like Euripides or Sophocles. I feel like I’ve been able to sponge up beautiful, powerful, poetic, sentences and learn how to write my own plays in the kinesthetic way that theatre allows.

All Lit Up: Do you have any rituals that you abide by when you’re writing?

HKK: I do not form routines easily, and really value spontaneity in my life. I write and create and operate as an artist often on instinct, and I’ve learned to follow my gut to its fullest extent. So there hasn’t been a single consistent way I’ve come to write a draft. The only true ritual, and the one constant through every single play or piece of writing I’ve had to deliver professionally is that my husband is my first audience. Because of the importance of liveness and the fact that plays will encounter actors inevitably, I always test run my plays in front of my husband by acting them myself (even if the play had a cast of eight or more—I’d take it on as a solo show). I edit as I go, pausing to change a moment of silence, or to add an extra syllable, or cut words where words aren’t needed. My husband has been there for that first play till now, and I value his instinctual response and feedback more than anyone else. If the man is bored, then I know I better shape up!

All Lit Up: What’s the most surprising thing about being a writer?

HKK: The thing about playwriting that really shocked me is the importance of letting it go. As an actor, you’re right in the thick of a play, literally, in front of the audience, night after night. Sometimes, an actor will flub a line (or many), or forget what happens next, and then in that moment of needing to keep the show going, they’ll fix it by bridging their own line or some theatrical thing towards getting back on track, on script. When I was a younger playwright, I would tense up when moments like that happened: “I didn’t write it like that!” or “Why did the actor make up a whole monologue?!” Now, having worked as a playwright and actor for longer…I’ve come to understand that liveness can only be scripted up to a certain extent. There is a large degree of letting preparation disappear that needs to happen for a show to really electrify and come alive…and sometimes, that means actors missing a word, or making up a line to get back on track…sometimes it’s even better than what I’ve already written (and I will then translate that discovery back into the script in preparation for publication). A script is never a locked thing, it’s as alive as the actor’s breath every single night. Learning to let go as a writer, has been such a transferable skill in life. Mistakes happen, eh? Let’s embrace it, and keep at it.

All Lit Up: Describe your perfect writing day.

HKK: Sleep in with the alarm off. Cats attacking our pillows. A slow getting up that starts with coffee—black. Turn the computer on. Get distracted by an email or two. May be a video or two of puppies or kittens or food history or literally anything else but the task at hand. Get laughed at by the hubby for procrastinating. Finally settle in for the afternoon. The cats are asleep on their tree. An image forms, or a line comes. I open a word document. I type. I don’t stop until a first draft is out. This can take hours, sometimes days. Run into hubby’s office and say: “I’m done.” He’ll often be like “okay, gimme a second.” I’ll grunt in disapproval, like hurry up, I gotta read. He’ll plop on to the couch, and the cats will cozy up. I read until I’m done. He says: “it’s good!” or “it’s okay.” Or “not your best.” I hit save. I either send it, or work some more until I send it. I go back to sleep.

I treasure days like these.

All Lit Up: Have you experienced writer’s block? What did you do about it?

HKK: Yea. Writer’s block sucks. The key for me has been to still find a way to connect creatively. And like many playwrights, I have more than one play on the go. So if I’m particularly blocked for a certain play, then I’ll just switch word docs and work on another one. It’s rare when I can’t write at all. I’m really okay with writing bad first drafts, and the important thing is to get the shape of it out on to a page, so I just write and write, even if it’s often dreadful. The work on crafting the shape into rehearsal readiness is the next process…but that’s often collaborative in the theatre. The difficult part is the lonely vomiting of a first draft. Moving helps, like taking a walk, or singing loudly, or embracing some other way to connect creatively, like…I don’t know, painting, or reading, or just doing something enjoyable. Anything to get the instincts going.

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Jeff Ho is a theatre artist, originally from Hong Kong. His plays include cockroach (曱甴), Iphigenia and the Furies (On Taurian Land), Antigone: 方, and trace. Jeff is a recipient of the Lambda Literary Award for LGBTQ+ Drama, the Toronto Theatre Critics’ Award for Best New Canadian Play, the Jon Kaplan Legacy Fund Award, has been a finalist for the Playwright’s Guild of Canada Drama Award and the Governor General’s Literary Award, and has been nominated for four Dora Mavor Moore Awards. He is a graduate of the National Theatre School of Canada, holds an MFA from York University, and is currently the Associate Artistic Director at Tarragon Theatre.