Love Week: Notes on Marriage from the Contributors of Love Me True
February 15, 2018
by Fiona Tinwei Lam and Jane Silcott
It's the day after Valentine's Day, and we're ready for some Love Week REAL TALK: namely, a frank discussion about marriage from the contributors of Caitlin Press'
Love Me True: Writers Reflect on the Ins, Outs, Ups & Downs of Marriage. Check out the choice contributor lines editors Fiona Tinwei Lam and Jane Silcott picked for deciding to get married, the inevitable (?) comparisons to elephants and lakes, and what happens when you end it instead.
What does it mean to be married in the twenty-first century? Why do it? Why not do it? The answers to these questions are as varied as the people we asked – for some, the first response was a sigh. Were we looking for stories about tulle and lace, and pretty little bridesmaids – and groomsmen – all in a row? Or did we want to go deeper? (This, with a note of challenge in the voice.) Yes, we wanted deeper. And when we began assembling the works that came in, we were amazed by the myriad situations that life throws at people, and by the humour and courage that sustains them. Some wrote about avoiding or escaping the bonds of marriage, some about ambivalence, and others about the solace and companionship it gives them despite the inevitable sorrows and struggles. Although we can’t quote all forty-five of our contributors here, some of them did offer a few pithy words to describe marriage and divorce. Here's what they came up with. As with the book, they fall, more or less into categories.
Getting married is a win/win situation; if it doesn’t work out you can always get a divorce. –
Getting married is like getting on a bus in a foreign country when you don't know where the bus is going. –
Getting married is diving into a deep, muddy lake filled with sharp rocks, snapping turtles, and giant leeches. – Donna Besel
Marriage is a lake. When all is well, the surface is smooth, keeping its secrets, reflecting back only the faces of those who pass by. When a marriage is troubled, the waters are broken and hidden things rise from the depths that even strangers can see. –
Divorce is like operating a high-speed food processor with the lid off. – Donna Besel
Divorce is the enabling partner of Marriage. – Monica Meneghetti
Divorce is like tearing your skin open to discover you have another body inside. –
Finally: in two words what does marriage mean to you?
Semi-automatic – Susan Musgrave
Not much – Miranda Pearson
Dueling egos – Donna Besel
Crazy faith. – Anne Simpson
Supporting patriarchy – Monica Meneghetti
Bravery and insanity – Lesley Buxton
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Thanks so much to Fiona and Jane for this introduction to
Love Me True (and to the contributors for their candid answers, here!). Thanks also to Michael at Caitlin for making the connection. For more All Lit Up Love Week,
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